Being a twin mom is very different from being a Mom. There are many factors which make twin parenting arduous and distinct. But twin moms are many times pushed under the scanner and judged for their bizarre behaviors. They are often guesstimated and misconstrued. Some times people pay no heed to the fact that Twin Moms are Different!
1. We never hesitate to ask for help
We do bother friends and family for help. It may be because we are ill or we have to attend some long pending works or we are tired up with the sick kids and cannot move outof the home or simply because we need a break. We are not lazy or incapable. We are only feeling weary or helpless.
2. We want everything on schedule
We run on timetables. Only then we can save our sanity, have a regular life and keep moving. If we don’t follow time and routines, very soon we will fall apart due to tiredness, depression, and frustration. That’s why we are so conscious about our timings for anything and everything.
3. We take advantage of any visitor’s presence
With two kids around, we always have loads and loads of pending works on the queue. We just don’t get the time to move away from our kids and do the left over chores. So when someone visit us, we try to utilize their presence and that invaluable thime to complete one or two chores.
4 We are super excited about going out alone
We love our babies and want to attend their needs 24 × 7. In spite of all the self boosts and motivations, still we get extremely tired both physically and mentally, in baby sitting our twins all through the day. We long for at least an hour of outing all alone. And when it is actually happening, we are super happy and get out very joyfully.
We need to take breaks to balance our mental health and it definitely delights us. Yet irrespective of all the excitement, we long to get back home and be with the kids.
5 We get freaky when their sleep gets disturbed
If you have read my post 12 Ideas to handle sleep issues with toddler twins you would know ‘Twins sleeping time is the breathing time for their parents’. It is during their short naps and few hours of sleep we need to do laundry, finish cooking, clean the house, complete all other left over chores and take some rest(if at all possible). So if that sleeping period of our twins get disturbed, which means all our planning was spoiled, it’s quite natural we go mad.
So please don’t come to a conclusion that we are getting psychic for such small reasons. Our twins sleep time is the only period where we have to rush up and do everything in this world other than baby sitting!!
6 We are over cautious about their health
Many of the twins are born premature and have a weak immune system. Once one of the babies catches a simple cold, we know very well the other twin is also going to grab it pretty soon.
This holds true for any sort of infection either viral, bacterial, flu or anything that is contagious. The result is we will have prolonged sick days, the kids will suffer and we will be totally exhausted and worn out. So we try to follow every possible precautionary measure to make sure they don’t catch any infections. We are too strict about their diets, we don’t let them play in unhygienic places, we restrict them from involving in certain activities and more.
7 We always watch out their activities
Twins tend to fight and hurt each other much more than normal siblings. We have to always stay near by, to avoid them from getting into any trouble. Hence we often peep in and watch what they are doing. We are extremely scared to let them play alone.
Saying that, it’s a habit for us to watch the kids all the time. We are used to this, so we couldn’t avoid doing it anywhere we go. That doesn’t mean we are over protective, we are just doing due to the necessity.
8 We make them learn things early
We have to take care of either two babies or two toddlers or two kids or two teens of the same age at any point of life. Every stage has its own challenge. To save everyone’s nerve we teach certain chores pretty early.
We are not having the option of pampering them(even if we would like to) as we will get weary, if we are doing it all through the day for two kids. So we make them eat on their own, wear their dress themselves and do tiny household chores as early as they could understand and follow those activities.
We are at times judged to be a stern mom who doesn’t coddle her babies and let them do all these jobs. But that’s not the underlying reason!! We do it to keep them engaged, to save time, to make sure our life doesn’t become clumsy.
9 We are strict and bossy
Have u continuously done the referee job all through the day? We do! We do it 24 x 7! There will be never ending fights. If they aren’t fighting they will be doing some naughty stuffs teaming together! So we have to be strict and stern to keep them under control.
We yell and shout often. We don’t have the luxury of being a soft, patient mom which we would love to be! Even if we try to be that dream mama, it wouldn’t last for more than half a day. So no other go and we have to set rules and become bossy before they start hurting each other.
10 We cannot get out of the house so easily
You will invite us for surprise parties or get together or unplanned play dates. But sorry we may not be able to join those. It is super difficult for us to go ahead with a surprise outing.
We have to check if someone can accompany us as a helping hand, pack the supplies, get the babies ready, throw ourself some minimal makeup to hide the messy mama and jump out of the house. And you know all that cannot happen on a snap of the finger. We badly need more time!!
11 We are not comfortable in all the places
We love play dates! But if it is in an open ground, we have to think about it. We love to join kiddies parties, but we cannot stay long. But sorry, we are not comfortable going to many places owing to the fact, the already tired mama has to run behind and watch two kids again, in an open and more crowded place. This is definitely a stressing and tiresome job if the mumma has to take the kids alone.
So we have to compromise some fun and can only shortlist our outing options based on our comfort level.
12 We are messy with a grubby face
I would say you can see clean children but never a clean and neat mommy! We are always messy with a grubby face. We don’t have the time and energy to make up and admire our looks!!
Twin Moms are different. They look different too.
13 We are forced to make compromises as a family
As I already said we have to make compromises in many ways in many places. We have to give up many things to provide the best for our kids. We have to compromise our career, passion, health and much more. But this adjustment doesn’t stop with us. Our kids also have to adapt at many occasions. Our compromises doesn’t seem important when we watch their’s.
We feel immensely sad to see our children compromise things which a single child wouldn’t have to. Our kids feel that their parents love is always shared. Not only love, toys, food, dress, bed and almost everything.
But they get used to it and soon become matured. They learn many big life lessons at a younger age.
14 We are stubborn in many ways
You would have interacted with a twin mom and after sometime given few ideas. But you will be thrown aback seeing that she sticks to her point to the tee and doesn’t listen to your view. Yes! We are stubborn and we have to be!
Like every other mom, we get parenting advice from every corner, but in a double or triple or more than usual number. Everyone we meet will throw us some advice or will judge our parenting style. Whatever it may be, we have worked out which is best for us through trial and error!
We are comfortable with our own ways but the judgement statements never stopped coming. So we naturally became super stubborn.
15 We have our own unexpressed emotions
Being stubborn, strict and bossy doesn’t mean we don’t have a tender heart. We have to be so, for the wellness of our children. We do have our own emotions which we could not express due to lack of time and people to hear.
We do everything that is feasible, yet we feel guilty we couldn’t do justice to both the kids. We cannot do more for them and it makes us feel bad. We are bound with many limitations. We break to see our children having to adjust and compromise in such a younger age.
We don’t express many emotions but that doesn’t mean we don’t feel it.